


Birthday Surprises

by WacheyPena



Series: Incomplete Works [4]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), DCU - Comicverse, Smallville
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WacheyPena/pseuds/WacheyPena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lex Luthor has a list of people he wishes to eliminate, and concocts a devious way of offing them all at once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex contemplates his list.

The glass of the vase he threw shattering against the wall did little to nothing to calm Lex Luthor’s rage. He had just found out that his weapons shipment in Gotham had been foiled once again by a goddamn cape! Only this time it was the Bat-freak and not Super-dick. Business had been going so well before the heroes came in and ruined everything!!

‘Well, not completely so,’ Lex corrected himself. There was still the matter of ‘the list’ to take care of. He had created this list as he had grown into the businessman he was today, and with the intention of killing those on the list once he had enough power.

Pulling it out of a locked drawer on his desk, he reviewed the list one more time, and found nearly all but three had been eliminated. Those three were, in order from three to one, Oliver Queen, who had the audaciousness to say Lex looked like crap in purple. Bruce Wayne, who had agreed to date Lex, if only to break up with him just before they started sleeping together, and had now become competition business wise.

And finally, there was Clark Kent, the farm boy from Kansas who dared to reject him!

He remembered Clark fondly, sort of. At least he remembered how hot the man looked when wearing a wife-beater and tight jeans. Sweat pouring down his body, those blue eyes glittering with mischief, and whose smile was brighter than the sun. Indeed, he was the cowboy fantasy come to life.

It was by accident that they had met, literally, as Lex was saved by Clark from drowning in his car, which he had crashed. A friendship was then formed, as Lex found himself stuck in Smallville by his father. And for a moment, Lex thought their friendship would turn into more, but alas! Clark had said no, claiming he had ‘responsibilities’ that he didn’t want to burden Lex with.

‘Responsibilities my ass,’ Lex thought, remembering the day he had read an article written by Clark Kent for the Daily Planet. What happened to his so called responsibilities? Were they over and done with now, or did they simply not exist?

Lex refused to believe it was the latter, because it would have meant that Clark really hadn’t been interested in him, and had lied to spare his feelings. But at the same time, he didn’t want it to be the former. Otherwise, he’d grow hopeful, hopeful for a second chance at getting together with Clark.

Another vase hit the wall.

-To be continued


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark and Ollie get their invitations, and consult.

Clark had been typing a report on the threat that his blood would be drained from his body by Perry when he caught the faint smell of Chinese and heard the steps of a familiar friend approach his apartment.

Answering the door before his friend could knock, Clark greeted, “Ollie!”

“Shit! Clark! Don’t scare me like that,” the blond said back, nearly dropping the food he had been carrying. Thankfully Clark was more than fast enough to snatch the cartons of noodles and set them up on his kitchen counter.

“What brings you here? Trouble in Star City?” Clark asked immediately, knowing that would be the main reason why his friend would show up.

“Actually, it’s got more to do with Lex,” Ollie admitted, sifting through some mail left by his friend’s phone. He then asked, as he picked one letter up in particular, “Have you checked your mail recently?”

“No, why?” Clark replied, eating away calmly.

“You got an invitation to Lex’s birthday cruise next week,” Ollie explained, waving the invitation.

Using his super-speed, Clark read the letter and then went back to his noodles, a confused look on his face as he asked, “Isn’t it kind of weird to have a week long celebration for a birthday?”

Shaking his head—he’d never get used to Clark’s super-speed—Ollie responded, “You and I both know Lex isn’t normal. Besides, I think he’s got something schemed for this cruise.”

“Ah, something that’ll take longer than a day or weekend? Now it makes sense. But what do you think he has planned?”

“Well, since I got one too, I think it has something to do with killing us.”

“Oh, are you sure? Maybe he just wants to gloat and show off his success? Happiness is the best revenge,” Clark tried to reason.

“Clark, stop defending the man.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Besides, what makes you think his intentions are to kill us?”

“Aside from the other main guest, there have been a series of random murders, but they’re not really random.”

Going over to his friend’s laptop, Ollie inserted a thumb-drive he had brought along with him, and brought up specific case files. Clark brought another chair so they both could sit and listened as his friend explained.

“See this guy? He attended school with me and Lex. Always teasing Lex by calling him ‘baldy.’ Now he’s headless. And this guy, right here, was our guidance counselor for only a year. Now I don’t know what he did to Lex, but when they found his body, his dick had been removed and shoved up his ass. The reports show that he was raped with it before dying of blood loss.”

“Please stop, I get the point,” Clark said, looking away, and feeling sick to his stomach.

Ollie closed the files, but continued speaking, “The other fifteen victims all have a connection to Lex in some form or another. Unfortunately I don’t know them all. And since they’re so diverse and scattered about the country, nobody would think to try and link them together that way. There also isn’t enough evidence to prove he was the one who had them all killed.”

“So, this is really a hunch?”

“This is more than just a hunch! I know he’s responsible, we just have to find the evidence,” Ollie argued.

Clark suddenly felt very tired. He knew he could trust Ollie, and he knew how cruel Lex could be, but he didn’t want to believe his once best friend was a killer. But if it was true, he’d have to accept it and move on.

Sighing, the Kryptonian asked, “Who are the other guests?”

“The usual businessmen and top reporters, but the one I’m more concerned about is Bruce Wayne.”

“Bruce Wayne, the playboy billionaire from Gotham?”

“Yeah, he also attended school with me and Lex. In fact, they had dated each other a few times, but Wayne broke it off and pretty much ran away after that.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was gone for seven years, remember? He had broken it off with Lex before going on his journey of women and fine wine in Europe.”

“Well, I can see why Lex wants him dead then.”

-To be continued


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman starts investigating in Metropolis.

Batman didn’t like being in Metropolis; too much risk of running into that alien. But his investigations required he go there since he had to sneak into the LexCorp building.

He had it confirmed—after beating a certain thug into the ground—that Luthor was the one responsible for all the weapons cargo he had been finding in Gotham Harbor recently, and so he had to come here and gather evidence. It saddened him, partly, that this man he had once dated was a criminal, but Luthor had to pay for his crimes.

As he waited for the files to finish downloading onto his thumb drive, he noticed a locked drawer in the desk. Curious, he carefully broke into it to see what it kept hidden.

He found a list, a list with his name on it, and nineteen others. Seventeen of those names were crossed out. There was also a bright green ring, but he didn’t touch it. Instead, he pocketed the list in his utility belt, and closed the drawer.

***

When Batman made it back to Gotham half an hour later, he quickly went to his computer to search for those crossed out on the list. He was surprised he hadn’t been spotted by the alien, but didn’t dwell on it. Instead he was just thankful to have been spared an encounter.

A while later, he found that each crossed out name was a murder victim, and in fact two of them were people he had known. One was a classmate, the other a guidance counselor.

Then he looked at the other two not crossed on the list, Oliver Queen and Clark Kent. Bruce knew Ollie, not very well, but enough to know he was a fellow billionaire and businessmen. And to remember a time when he pissed Lex off by saying he looked stupid in purple. That was one of the rare times Bruce had ever had to hold in his laughter.

But Bruce had no idea who Clark Kent was. So Batman would have to do some research on this man. And he’d have to figure out what he had done to earn himself a place at number one on Luthor’s list.

“Master Bruce? Are you almost done?” Alfred interrupted.

“Hm? No, I just found another case that could put Luthor behind bars.”

“Well, if it could wait, you have a meeting in four hours.”

“…cancel?” Bruce requested more than commanded.

Sighing, Alfred said, “Fine, should I cancel the party invitation as well sir?”

“Invitation to what Alfred?”

“Lex Luthor’s birthday cruise, sir.”

Whirling in his chair, Bruce said, “Uh, no. I think I’ll actually attend this party.”

Inside, Batman was grinning.

-To be continued


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark and Ollie meet once again before getting on the cruise. Meanwhile, Batman is just around the corner…

Bruce didn’t get it, but he was completely beholden by the mystery that was Clark Kent. The man had been a simple farm boy from Smallville, Kansas. A place, that according to Luthor’s files he had never been to. So it was a little difficult to find out where they had met. He had checked current records of him, but found that even though Kent was a reporter, he had little to no interaction with Luthor or LexCorp.

Add to that, Batman was unable to find a decent picture of Kent. All he could find were records and a few news clippings written about Kent saving someone when he was younger, or ones written by the man himself. So why would Luthor want him dead? He was a simple, good-hearted man, unless it was all a pretense?

It would explain why there were little to no photo records of Kent, as well as the five year absence during his career. Maybe he had committed a crime or discretion, concerning Luthor, and had run away in hopes of saving his own life and reputation? It was a reasonable explanation for why Luthor would want him dead.

But Batman had to be certain, and he’d have to protect the man either way, as he would not let another individual die.

The Dark Knight would once again have to visit Metropolis.

***

“So how’d your boss take it?” Ollie asked taking a sip of his water. Both he and the Kryptonian were dining at a popular pizzeria and waiting for their food.

“Hm? Oh Perry? It took a bit of convincing, but I finally got him to realize that I’d write a better article about Luthor’s party than I would about the urban legend of Batman,” Clark explained, sipping some of his soda.

“You know we do need to find out if that guy is real. See if he’s an ally.”

“Ollie, if you don’t mind, I’d really like to know why you wanted to meet like this,” Clark said trying to cut that particular topic short.

“Wow, someone’s grumpy today.”

“Sorry, there are just all these rumors about him it’s kind of hard to believe, and I keep reaching a dead end; it’s frustrating. I mean, I haven’t even seen this man, in or out of costume. And if I ever did find him, you know what I’d do.”

“Yeah, find out his identity and leave him for me to deal with. That or stalk him.” Ollie smirked and batted away the small paper-ball thrown his way.

Deciding to let the topic drop, the blond continued, “Anyway, I wanted to talk about our plans for the cruise.”

“What plans?”

“Exactly, we need to have some in case my suspicions are correct, which they are. We also need to decide if we’re going to bring Luthor down as heroes, or as civilians.”

“Civilians, it would be a little too convenient otherwise if we show up in our hero identities.”

“Great, that lessons the amount of luggage I’m taking,” Ollie joked, and stopped talking further on the subject as their pizza was served.

***

Bruce was a little more than surprised to find that Clark Kent knew Oliver Queen. The two of them had no real history between them, but they were acting like best buddies over pizza.

Last time he interacted with Queen, the man had been calling Bruce a vapid fool for letting his company’s main focus be for weapon’s manufacturing. At the time, Bruce wasn’t in complete control of Wayne Enterprises, and had simply shrugged the insult away. But he remembered how passionate the man had been about it. So Bruce may not have known Queen well enough, but he knew the man didn’t associate himself with scum.

So it seemed Clark Kent was the good patron he originally thought him to be. Yet even if he hadn’t been insulted by Queen, he could tell that Kent wasn’t evil. The man was too dorky. Maybe he had accidentally ruined one of Luthor’s purple suits?

-To be continued


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guests arrive to go on Lex’s cruise.

Lex had to congratulate himself for thinking up the idea of a birthday cruise, as well as how he was going to end his celebration. His plans were the work of a genius after all. And he was delighted to find that the three men he most wanted to be there had accepted their invitations.

He knew that if he invited the right people, they’d come to him, or in the case of Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne, if he invited the right amount of beautiful women. It irked him slightly that he had to use the models and actresses as persuasive tools, because it meant his presence wasn’t enough.

But neither of them were the man Lex most desired, and he eagerly waited for a glimpse of the man he once thought he’d give the world for.

***

Ollie didn’t have to fake his grateful smile towards all the beautiful women already on the cruise. The fact that they were there gave him reasonability for attending. The blond was also grateful that it had been Clark who had decided they should go separately and only interact with one another if the time called for it.

“You’re known for being a ladies man, so act the part, and Lex won’t suspect a thing,” Clark had also told him.

And Ollie had no problem with that what-so-ever. He even started in on a short-haired brunette as soon as he got on the boat.

***

“Um, are you sure about this?”

“Oh come on, Clark! What man in his right mind turns down having a beautiful woman on his arm?” Vicki winked, causing her friend to blush further.

“But what if somebody assumes we’re an item?” Clark questioned further. If Lex got the wrong impression, there was no telling what danger Vicki could get into.

“Oh, stop worrying about what other people think Clark, and escort me to the boat. Pronto mister!” she continued to tease as they boarded.

Clark hesitated, until he realized that he had looked different from when he was friends with Lex. At that time, he hadn’t thought of wearing a costume or making a disguise, and was just trying to be discreet with his abilities. So there were no glasses and slicked back hair.

Now Clark had a new worry. Would Lex even recognize him? And how would he react to this new Clark Kent?

***

Bruce was one of the last to arrive, due to his debate on whether or not to take the suit along with him. He knew it was a risk, but Batman only appeared at night, and didn’t ever do PR stunts like that alien. So he decided to bring it; without telling Alfred.

Once on the boat, Bruce flirted here and there, but made sure to locate Queen and Kent as he did so. From what he could see, Kent was being dragged around by Vicki Vale, and he was clearly embarrassed. Queen was flirting with Dinah Lance.

Seeing Dinah there surprised Bruce immensely, and he decided he’d have to find out why the Black Canary had decided to attend. But her presence gave him the perfect opportunity to meet Queen again without being awkward.

And perhaps, he could use her as an ally. Tell her about the list he had found, and ask her to keep an eye on Queen while he kept an eye on Kent.

***

Lex wondered if there was an unknown rivalry between Bruce and Oliver as he saw the former head towards the same brunette. If so, maybe he could use that to his advantage and take suspicion off of himself even further.

“Mr. Luthor, Clark Kent has arrived,” one of his guards suddenly informed.

“Where?” Lex quickly asked. He was surprised he hadn’t spotted him first.

“He is escorting Vicki Vale,” the guard responded.

‘That’s not him!’ Lex shouted in his head. That slob and dork of a reporter couldn’t be the once famed cowboy fantasy!

Shaking his head, Lex took a deep breath, and calmed, for the moment. There had to be a reasonable explanation for this drastic change in demeanor, and he’d find out what it was before the end of the week.

But first, he had to give a speech.

-To be continued


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the cruise!

“Ladies and gentlemen, if you would do me the honor of lending me your ears for just a moment, I’d like to welcome and thank you all for attending!” Lex proclaimed from his spot on the deck above the guests. He bowed his head slightly towards his audience.

Continuing he said, “As you all know, my birthday isn’t until next Saturday, but I remembered how rare it is for me to ever meet all of my friends and generally have fun with them. So I thought, why keep the celebration for one day? Why not a whole week?”

“A week of talking with old friends, catching up, playing leisurely games, or just relaxing under the starlight? And just having a wonderful time with friends, or in some cases, possible future spouses?” Lex lightly leered, earning a chuckle from the crowd.

“Either way, I hope all of you have a wonderful time, and again, thank you, for attending my birthday cruise,” he finished, earning applause as he bowed again. With that said he backed away and headed down to the main deck, eager to greet a certain guest.

***

Clark was a little more than surprised when asked by a security guard that Lex wanted to meet with him in private. But at the same time he was grateful for the opportunity and understood the need for secrecy. The last thing either probably needed was for others to ask, ‘How do they know each other?’

“Mr. Luthor,” the guard announced their presence, and then left the cabin.

“Clark, it’s been a long time,” Lex said first, his smile almost serene.

“Yes, it has been a while,” Clark replied, and hesitantly added, “A lot has happened.”

“Indeed, you look very different from the last time we met.”

“Oh, well, I had to get glasses after high school. Apparently working in the sun all day affected by vision,” Clark excused, blushing slightly as he adjusted his glasses.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Lex stated, going up to Clark, and gently gripping his wrist as he continued, “You’re embarrassment is endearing, but I remember you once being so confident and sure of yourself.”

“More like brash and irresponsible,” Clark muttered.

“Clark, did something happen?” Lex asked almost like he was generally concerned. His hand moved from Clark’s wrist to his face, cupping it gently.

“I’ve…I’ve just matured that’s all,” Clark stated and blushed further.

Perhaps Lex had jumped the gun too soon in thinking Clark was now unattractive as the dork he was now. The crimson of his cheeks seemed to inspire a new fantasy, one of Lex overpowering and dominating Clark. Maybe he’d let him live after all.

“Lex?” Clark suddenly asked, his voice a whisper. It was then Lex realized he was now face to face with him, and only needed to move forward a fraction in order to kiss him.

“I just want to know something, Clark. Are you still burdened with those responsibilities?”

Clark was hesitant for just a moment before saying, “My obligations have been taken care of.”

“Good,” Lex said, before gently kissing Clark. He had to be gentle, for now. He then pulled away, whispering, “I’m sorry, it seems after all this time, I still want to be with you.”

“Lex—I—“

“Shh, don’t worry. I understand that it’s been so long, we hardly know each other anymore. That’s why I wanted this week, so we could get to know our new selves, and think about building a relationship. Is that alright?”

Clark merely nodded, feeling too torn and heart-broken inside to speak.

***

Ollie was on panic alert as soon as he saw a guard escort Clark off of the main deck. But he couldn’t do anything about it because it was decided they’d act as strangers to each other. Besides, his attention was supposed to be taken up with the beautiful woman in front of him.

“Dinah! What a pleasant surprise to see you!” someone exclaimed behind them. It was none other that Bruce Wayne.

“Bruce! I haven’t seen you since last Easter!” Dinah responded, referring to a case with the Mad Hatter. The guy had a thing for blondes.

Smiling, the other billionaire said, “You don’t mind if I steal this lovely lady from you? She and I have something to discuss.”

“It doesn’t involve a bed does it?” Ollie decided to be crude, which earned a slight laugh from the woman.

“Oh no, she’s more like a little sister I never wanted,” Bruce stated, earning a smack on the arm.

“Then by all means,” Ollie assented, and watched them leave into the crowd. Now he was left with just his worry about Clark. 

It wasn’t so much that he was worried that Clark would be killed so much as how being around Lex would affect him. It was obvious when Ollie first met Clark that the Kryptonian had a thing for Lex, so it had to be saddening to know the person he was once in love with was a murderer.

Sighing, Ollie really wished Clark was in love with somebody else.

***

“Are you going to demand why I’m here, or are you really happy to see me?” Dinah asked as soon as they were alone.

“I figure it has something to do with Luthor and a certain murdered boxer,” Bruce replied calmly. He had reviewed all victims, and figured the one who happened to be a boxer must’ve been a friend of Wild Cat’s as well as Dinah’s. So it made sense for Black Canary to seek justice.

“How do you know that?”

“I found Luthor’s death list in his office, as well as files linking him to the ships I’ve found with illegal weapons.”

“Bruce, are you going to let me at him first before you turn him in?”

“Maybe, but that’s not why I wanted to speak with you.”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m on that list, and as number two. Oliver Queen is number three, and Clark Kent—a man Lex is currently having a private meeting with—is number one.”

“You don’t think he’s—“

“No, it would be too soon and too obvious, especially since Vicki Vale had just seen Kent a minute ago. My theory is that he’ll wait to kill us at the end of the week. I just need to figure out how.”

“So where do I come in?”

“Queen and Kent are friends, they may not show it but they are. Where and how they met is something I am unable to figure out, and I want you to find out through Queen’s end how he knows Kent and why he’s keeping it a secret. I’d also like you to protect him, as he’s on Luthor’s list, and being close to him might bring us that much faster to bringing Luthor down.”

“What about Kent?”

“Leave him to me,” Bruce said as an end to their conversation and left.

-To be continued


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Clark finally meet.

Bruce began to grow impatient as over twenty minutes had passed since Kent’s disappearance into Luthor’s cabin, and he was growing a little worried at some of the model’s looking his way. They were obvious gold diggers, seriously into plastic surgery, and he didn’t want to know them.

“Oh Brucie!!” one of them in particular exclaimed. She had curly reddish-brown hair in a fro and a terribly fake European accent. She also had a laugh that reminded him faintly of the Joker. He wasn’t scared of her, really, it was just the gleam in her eyes that made him leave the main deck in a hurry.

And that was how Bruce found himself on the opposite deck which was dark and bare, say for one lonely Clark Kent staring out at sea. The reporter turned and blinked at him, before turning back with a sigh.

“Um, I didn’t disturb your brooding time did I?” Bruce asked, remembering Alfred once asking him that. He hadn’t found that line to be particularly funny at the time, but he was supposed to be in Brucie mode. And besides, Batman didn’t brood, he contemplated.

“No, its okay,” the reporter replied, and continued to look at the stars.

Bruce could see Kent’s sadness pouring off of him in waves, and it was no wonder the man hadn’t returned to the main deck. Vicki was a sharp-eyed reporter, and would most likely demand what was wrong with her colleague.

Now Bruce really wanted to know what had transpired between both Kent and Luthor. What was said? And why did it make Kent so sad?

Carefully, Bruce went to the railing next to Kent, and tried to think of what to say. He couldn’t ask anything about Luthor, since he wasn’t supposed to know that they had a secret meeting in the first place. But at the same time he couldn’t ignore the obvious depressed state the reporter was in and try to have a casual conversation. So neither the Bat nor Brucie would work in this situation.

“Did your dog die or something?” he finally asked. Alfred would be so proud.

“What?” Kent said surprised.

“You looked really sad, so I asked if your dog died,” Bruce explained as if he hadn’t potentially offended the man. Then again, he was the famed Bruce Wayne, so his rudeness could be excused.

Suddenly, Kent was laughing. Not a small chuckle either, but a loud guffaw that made Bruce annoyed into thinking, ‘It wasn’t that funny.’

“I’m sorry—Its just—my dog—is the last thing—I’m worried about right now,” Kent admitted, as his laughs died down. Indeed, Krypto was the last of his worries.

‘So he does have a dog? Where?’ Bruce thought to himself. He hadn’t seen the dog at Kent’s apartment. Maybe it was in Smallville?

“Um, I know you didn’t mean to make me laugh, but thanks anyway,” Kent said, leaning on the railing again.

“I’m glad to amuse,” Bruce responded, with a fake bow, and earned another smile from the reporter. He had to admit, the man looked much better when he smiled. Almost cute, but Bruce wasn’t going there.

“Brucie!! There you are!!” that Joker model from before exclaimed.

Bruce didn’t want to deal with this woman, but he didn’t want to leave Kent either. So in a quick move, he grabbed the reporter’s wrist and had them both running away from the model.

Clark was surprised to be pulled away, but he was more surprised at the fact that it was Bruce Wayne who was pulling him. He felt sort of dumb for not recognizing the billionaire sooner till someone had said his name, or at least a cutesy nickname of it, but he didn’t dwell on it as the woman was running after them.

“There never seems to be a guard around when you need one is there?” Clark then asked, as they were still running. It was strange that this side of the cruise liner was empty.

“And when you don’t need them they come in packs,” Bruce replied, remembering a certain incident as Batman, and had them both turn sharply into a dark corner. It bought them some time as the woman ran past them.

“I’m guessing you really want to avoid her?” Clark asked, blushing at the close proximity they were currently in. The corner was really small, and he couldn’t help but notice how attractive the man was with their bodies practically pressed against each other and faces so close.

“No, I just enjoy the ‘chase,’” Bruce replied, trying to hide his surprise at how large and tall the reporter really was. He didn’t look well built, but he certainly felt it. Batman would have to look into that.

Ignoring the billionaire’s sarcasm Clark pointed to a covered life boat, “Um, well, why don’t we hide there?”

Both men were quick to do so, especially after they heard the model’s voice coming towards their direction again. And not a second too soon, they were safely hidden away as she walked passed the life boat.

“She must really want to be Mrs. Wayne,” Clark stated, once she was out of earshot.

“Her and every other woman on this cruise, but they don’t chase me.”

Both men then came unknowingly to the same question, ‘Why was she really after Bruce? Did Luthor hire her as a spy?’ Yet neither voiced it or implied that it worried them.

“Sorry I dragged you into that, but I thought it would be rude if I just ran off in the middle of our conversation,” Bruce tried to excuse.

“Rude? You asked me if my dog died! And you consider running off rude?” Clark exclaimed, laughing again.

“What can I say? I’m an only child with little social skills. By the way, how is your dog?”

“Fine, other than a humping problem, but it isn’t hurting anyone yet.”

“Yet? Do I wanna know?”

“It’s not that bad; he hates everybody but me. And right now he’s only humping inanimate objects. I’m afraid if he starts humping people he’ll bite them if they try to get him off,” Clark explained, though he didn’t understand why. Then again it couldn’t hurt to talk about Krypto. He could talk plenty about Krypto without revealing that he kills cats with his heat vision within a mile of smelling them. Indeed, Krypto was one scary dog.

“Why don’t you just neuter him?”

“Even neutered dogs hump. And remind me again why we’re talking about my dog’s humping problem?”

“You were the one who mentioned it; I just wanted to know if you’re dog was okay.”

“He is, thank you. And oh! I’m so sorry, I haven’t told you my name have I?”

“Well I can’t imagine you introducing yourself while we were running, so that’s okay. Though now would be nice.”

“Clark Kent, reporter from the Daily Planet,” Clark said holding his hand out.

“Bruce Wayne, a philanthropist from Gotham City,” Bruce replied back, shaking hands.

“A philanthropist?”

“Would you rather I say Prince of Gotham?”

“No, its okay, the humble approach is very nice.”

“Sirs, you shouldn’t be in here,” a guard suddenly stated, flashing them with a flash light in the eyes. There were five others behind him too.

“What I’d tell you? When you don’t need them, they come in packs,” Bruce stated, before getting out of the boat first.

“Ah, I should’ve known it was you causing a raucous back here,” Lex stated, having followed his men. He then added teasingly, “Now, what beautiful woman did you drag into—“

He stopped short as Clark fell out of the life boat, blushed embarrassed, and was helped up by Bruce. The man had the audacity to smirk as he did so too. Something had to be done.

“Mr. Fargo, if you and your men would please escort Mr. Wayne to his suite. I’m pretty sure he’s exhausted after everything that has happened tonight,” Lex quickly ordered, his tone serious.

“I can find my own room, Lex, but seeing as there is a woman who has been chasing me all night, I’ll gladly accept their help,” Bruce asserted, and started walking away along with the guards. 

A quick look back confirmed his suspicions that Luthor just wanted a moment alone with Clark again. And he caught a brief flash of shock splayed across Clark’s face.

“Clark, for your own good, stay away from that man,” Lex stated once they were alone. He knew how charming Bruce could be, and he was not going to lose Clark to that scoundrel.

Shocked, Clark said, “But why?”

“He’s not a good person, Clark. He may seem charming and fun now, but believe me, he only cares for himself. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“Lex, I understand your concern, but really, I only intend to be friends with—“

“You’re not listening to me! He burned his own house down!”

“I—I thought that was unconfirmed?”

“According to the papers it’s unconfirmed, but we both know how well money affects the truth, and he’s the wealthiest man in Gotham.”

“If he really did it, then what was his incentive?” Clark asked, he knew Lex was manipulative, so he had to try and determine if he was lying.

It took Lex a little less than a minute to say, “The house probably reminded him too much of his parents. You know the story, and I remember in school how angry he would get about their murder. So burning the house down probably helped him get over them.”

“I’ll…I’ll try and stay away from him,” Clark said softly, only saying it for Lex’s sake. The man was just concerned that he would go off and have a relationship with the other billionaire. His heartbeat had given it away. It had gone into a familiar erratic pattern that usually occurred when Lex was jealous.

“Good, now let me escort you to your room,” Lex said with a smile, and Clark let him do so.

-To be continued


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday morning.

Clark was very thankful he hadn’t brought the suit along with him, especially when his x-ray vision had found the hidden camera in the wall across from the side of his bed. If he hadn’t been positive before that Lex would be watching him closely, he certainly was now. He was also worried about the un-lockable, adjoined bathroom that led to the suite of—

The Kryptonian had to stifle a groan as he saw Bruce Wayne was in the next room. Was it not just a second ago that Lex had told him to stay away from the man? How did Lex expect Clark to do the impossible?

‘It has to either be a mistake on his part, or a test of some sort he wants me to go through,’ Clark started to think it over. It would make sense since Bruce was the ultimate temptation for most. And he had to admit the man was attractive, and had made him laugh, but he’d only just met Bruce.

‘Wait, if Ollie’s hunch is correct, then he wants us dead. Why make me go through a test?’ another part of his mind questioned. Perhaps Lex had simply put all three men in rooms next to each other, so he wouldn’t have to send his men very far to kill them. Then he forgot he had done so, and thus didn’t think of how impossible it would be for Clark to avoid Bruce.

Turning in his bed, he checked through the other wall and found that Ollie was also next door to him as he had thought. So his first theory that Lex had made a mistake was most likely the answer he had been looking for.

‘Then why ask me to consider a relationship with him again?’ Clark thought, confused.

***

As casually as he could, Bruce took out a laptop from one of his suitcases, setup its modem and then setup another device that looked like it went on the modem. But this device was actually something Bruce had made to cause interference on any hidden cameras in his room. However, it didn’t block sound, just the video feed. Not that Batman spoke much while he typed, but he still had to keep that technicality in mind.

Bruce then looked to his lockless bathroom, which he considered odd, but concluded that it would most likely make it easier for an assassin to come in from the other room. He couldn’t risk trying to dress in the suit when the person next door could burst into his room at any moment. So he decided to see who occupied it.

Quietly, he pushed the second door open, and saw that the room was dark and the person inside was breathing slowly and evenly; clearly asleep. So it was safe for Batman to explore the ship, but only for three hours at most, since Brucie planned to attend the breakfast buffet.

***

Unfortunately for Batman, there was a particular guard who had blocked his exit for another hour when he had already been out for four. Time passed by so fast when he had fun, but now he knew there was something hidden at the bottom of the ship. Yet he couldn’t get to it that night. He also needed to sleep in order to function as Brucie, but like a usual long patrol, he had little to none.

So in his dead-tired state, he walked into the bathroom, intent on brushing his teeth and showering, but ended up staring wide-eyed as he walked in on a naked Clark Kent. The reporter yelped, blushed, and quickly covered with his bath towel. But having caught more than an eyeful, Bruce had a faint inkling as to why Lex had Clark as his number one target.

He then tried and failed to keep this realization to himself as he stated, “You’re secretly a body builder aren’t you?”

“Uh, no actually, I um—used to live on a farm, and would help my Pa with chores.”

“Chores? Like what? Lifting tractors?”

Clark couldn’t help but laugh at Bruce’s skeptical tone of voice. And instead of being annoyed, Bruce started to feel pleasantly warm at the sound. It vaguely reminded him of someone, but he shook his head before his mind could conjure up whom.

“Well, I’ll leave you to continue your business. Just call when you’re done, okay?”

“Alright,” Clark agreed, and waited until he saw Bruce, with his x-ray vision, fall back onto his bed before drying the rest of his body off.

It didn’t take him very long to get dressed, but by the time he walked into Bruce’s room, Clark found him fast asleep. Checking the time, he figured the billionaire could be spared at least one more hour of sleep, so he went into his room to fetch his cow-shaped alarm clock and set it up to go off at the appropriate time.

***

Lex approached the food table by Glenda Pierce. She was the assassin he had hired to pose as a model and try to distract Bruce Wayne. Her attempt to do so had failed miserably, and had resulted in Clark being around that…that filth.

“Glenda, I am most disappointed by your performance last night,” he stated, as he picked up a plate to start serving himself.

“It won’t happen again, I assure you,” the woman replied, fake accent gone.

Tasting one of the pastries, Lex reaffirmed, “You’re right, because I’m having you escorted off my ship.”

At her shocked expression, he explained, “After your failure last night, I feel you’ll do better as one of the ‘terrorists.’ So if you would please follow Mr. Rosenbaum, he’ll debrief you.”

Nodding, Glenda did so, and as she left Fargo went up to Lex, a questioning look on his face, and said, “We don’t need her.”

“I know. Kill her tonight at sea,” Lex ordered, before walking off to meet and greet a few of his guests; completely unaware of the shocked blue eyes still staring at him.

It took Clark a moment to get over his shock, but once he did he excused himself from Vicki and headed over to the men’s bathroom. There he hid in one of the stalls, and used his x-ray vision and super-hearing to spy on Mr. Fargo as he gave orders to a subordinate.

“…take her out to sea at around seven.”

“In the middle of tonight’s contest?”

“Exactly, everyone will be too busy watching or participating to notice. But be sure to use a silencer, regardless of how far you are.”

The two men then separated, and Clark took less then a second to decide to leave the ship and save the girl.

Walking out of the men’s bathroom he started to mentally plan what he was going to do when someone slammed into his chest, and then fell down with a thump.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!!” Clark exclaimed, quickly offering his hand to help the other person up.

***

Bruce was startled awake by a loud mooing sound, and almost destroyed the object making the offending noise until he saw the time. An entire hour had gone by since he last woke up!!

Hurrying to the bathroom, he suddenly felt very grateful for all those times he had to rush out of the batsuit and get ready for a seven'o'clock board meeting, especially when he was out and ready in twenty minutes flat.

He had hoped to keep his momentum going, but the hard chest he slammed into while rushing through the hallway prevented that.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!!”

It was Clark he had slammed into, and after he was helped up, Bruce glared and said in a very Batman-like voice, “Confess.”

“Uh…excuse me?” Clark asked back confused.

“At the rate I was walking the average man I slammed into would’ve stumbled, but you didn’t even budge. So confess you’re either Superman, or you tried out for the Metropolis Sharks.”

Clark sighed dramatically, “Alright, alright I confess. I am Superman.”

Bruce scoffed, “Yeah right. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you were rejected, Kent. Though why you didn’t try out for the Gotham Knights is beyond me. They appreciate…talent.”

“Sorry, but the Sharks own my soul.”

“Then you and I shall forever be enemies,” Bruce said with finality, and caused Clark to chuckle.

Still smiling, Clark asked without thinking, “Join me for breakfast?”

The question startled both men, but Clark came to realize that he really enjoyed Bruce’s company. There was just something about the man that drew the reporter to him. Maybe it was his charm, maybe it wasn’t, but whatever it was, Clark was going to enjoy it for the little bit of happiness it gave him.

Bruce, on the other hand, was grateful, because if the reporter hadn’t asked he would have, since it would allow him to keep a closer eye on Kent. So he smiled and replied, “Sure.”

The two of them then started walking towards the main deck when Clark remembered what Lex had made him promise!

“Is something wrong?” Bruce asked when he noticed the reporter suddenly pause.

“Oh, well…I’m not quite sure how to say this without offending, but Lex doesn’t want me to be around you,” Clark admitted with a guilty blush.

On the outside, Bruce chuckled, but inside he thought, ‘What the hell are Luthor’s intentions for you? Why this protective charade if he wants you dead?’

He then said, “Is he afraid I’m going to corrupt you? That I’ll defile the innocent aura you seem to possess?”

“Uh…” Clark said dumbfounded and slightly embarrassed.

“I’m kidding, Kent! You don’t have to tell me why, and I understand if you want to take back your—“

“No! No, I want to eat with you, really I do, but I don’t want to upset Lex.”

“Well then, how about we eat someplace where Lex can’t see us together? What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Bruce suggested.

Clark thought for a moment before saying, “Yeah, I guess that could work.”

They then continued on their way.

-To be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I wrote for this story.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm considering rewriting this entire story, but for now it'll be posted in the incomplete series.


End file.
